As we teeter on the transition between 2022 and 2023 I thought it would be the perfect point in time to use the Roman god Janus from which the first month of the year gets its name, as a theme for this month’s blog.
As any physicist will tell you we can only move forwards through time (as far as we know) yet our minds do not always accept these confines. We have memories that link us to the past and dreams of an imagined future.
The image above is perfectly balanced within the now, and gazes equally into the past as well as into the future.
Do we have a balanced view of the past, present and future? Or are we drawn in a particular direction?
I have been asked by clients on many occasions; ‘are we going to talk about my childhood?’ ..and. ..’are we going to delve into my past?’
As a person-centred counsellor I find I don’t need to ask about the past; it usually bubbles up naturally in the course of my discussions with clients.
If this is a question that concerns you consider:
Has a traumatic event in the past impacted on your present day functioning?
Do you feel stuck in the past?
Have you experienced loss that makes it hard to manage present concerns?
In the words of Harry Styles, ‘You know it’s not the same as it was’ and part of the work a counsellor can do with a client is learning to accept this simple fact. We need to accept the present circumstances as they are and move on into the future.
Counselling can support you to talk about past traumatic events in a safe environment. It can help you to reprocess through the security of the mature adult lens. You can talk about how past experience has affected your abilities to manage the present and move on in our lives.
It may be that you can’t think about the past or the future because of the struggles you are facing in the now. We are living in challenging times, but counselling can give you protected space to allow you freedom to time travel – re-experiencing your past and considering many future possibilities.
Although counsellors and psychotherapists work in the present and the past, ultimately the goal is for our clients to progress into the future with a greater sense of self; more adaptable to change and with resilience and skills to confront life’s challenges.
Perhaps your concerns are more focused on the future.
Life coaching is a therapeutic intervention that is grounded in the present with a greater concern for the future. A life coach can help you set long term personal goals, help you meet weekly targets and plan ahead. Past lessons can be used positively to tackle future challenges.
Maybe you can draw your own head of Janus and think about where you are facing. This may help you decide on the support you need in the present.
And to end here is a festive quote from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol when Ebeneezer addresses the ghost of Christmas yet to come;
“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach!”
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