You may be reading this at a later date, but this blog was written on 16th January 2023.
This day is known as Blue Monday, calculated to be the most depressing day of the year by a psychologist, paid by Sky Travel!
This dubiously agenda-driven date, was based on a formula derived from a perfect storm of factors; including bad weather, debt, time since Christmas and failed New Year resolution attempts. The formula doesn't even factor in tax, rail strikes, corona virus, cost of living and rising fuel bills!
Despite the dubious pseudo- science of Blue Monday there is no doubt that this time of year can be a challenge even for those of us with the sunniest of dispositions.
How do we beat these January blues?
My simplest answer is - do whatever you need to do to get you through.
But here are some thoughts and suggestions that you might find useful.
Plan ahead
When things are going well this is the time to practice self-care in preparation for harder times ahead.
Remember the words of this song from Oliver Twist The musical;
'Who will buy
This wonderful morning?
Such a sky
You never did see!
Who will tie
It up with a ribbon
And put it in a box for me?
So I could see it at my leisure
Whenever things go wrong
And I would keep it as a treasure
To last my whole life long.’
When we are feeling in a more positive frame of mind consider starting some of these projects to 'box up' your happy days.
1. Create a happy board (I have one inside my wardrobe door) with pictures of children, holidays, people I love and helpful poems prayers certificates
2. Create a happy playlist on your Spotify .
3. Design a meal plan with a shopping list
4. Make a list of trusted people to call or friends to arrange to see.
5. Plant spring bulbs.
6. This is not an exhaustive list - make a list of things you could prepare to support you 'when things go wrong'
Sing in the rain
Happiness can be a rebellious act.
For example, the melody of hit song 'Happy' by Pharrell Williams, is not all it seems. The ridiculously catchy, happy clappy melody soars over a repeating downward sequence of chords whose root creates a minor chord. The minor key for non-musicians is used by composers to create a sad or sinister tone.
The song ‘Happy’ is sung in an act of defiance despite difficult circumstances.
Can you embrace this rebellious mind set? Grab a pair of wellies and all your Christmas woollies, then walk through the wind and rain.
Or strip down to a swimming costume and take a dip in the sea – if you dare!
Sense of humour
There is a growing field of study into the importance of humour and how it impacts on personal well-being and interpersonal relationships.
Wellenzohn, S., Proyer, R. T., & Ruch, W. (2016) carried out a study where participants recorded three funny things every evening for a week. This simple act saw the participants decrease in depression immediately after the completion of the exercise, but increased happiness up to six months later; this compared to a control group who journaled about their early memories.
This technique works because you are distracting your brain from ruminating on problems and training it to view things in a less negative light.
A time for reflection and introspection
These months are particularly significant to many people of faith around the world. It seems trivial to write this here, but it would be remiss of me to exclude it, especially as it has such great importance to those who hold a faith.
Prayer and meditation put the mind into an eternal space outside the world. Prayer connects the individual to the needs of others and the world. Asking for and receiving prayer can provide a deep connection and lasting impact on those that receive it.
If you have a faith, now maybe the time to dig deeper.
Make time to Wallow
Some of the most beautiful poetry, novels and music are also profoundly sad.
I have known music that can tear your heart out and lines of poetry that speak to my soul and always elicits a tearful response.
When there is so much sadness what is wrong with making time to weep?
The benefits of cathartic crying is a growing field of study. Crying is a mechanism that is shown to soothe physical and psychological pain. It releases inner tension and stress. Like laughter, it allows the mind to process and view things from an alternative perspective. It can help us recognise and come to terms with difficult situations. It can prompt and elicit the support of others.
Which leads me to my final point.
When to seek help
Being sad during challenging times is normal. If you are going through a bereavement or break up it is normal to go through waves of intense sadness which lessen over a period of time.
Depression sets in when the period of sadness continues for more than two weeks and interferes with your everyday life.
It is a symptom of depression to become more withdrawn and you recognise that you are unable to lift yourself out of this state through your own interventions.
If you are at this point in the blog and think this is you, please take this opportunity to consider making an appointment with your GP or reaching out for private counselling support.
Contact me on my blog and we can arrange to discuss next steps over the phone.
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